“Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not” – Ana Monnar
2017 will definitely go down in history as being one of the most bizarre, depressing, amazing best and worst years of my life. One of the things I learned along the way, was the art of not giving a f*ck.
“There is no illusion greater than fear” – Lao Tzu
Not giving a fxck stems from Buddhism. You think I’m joking, right? The end goal in Buddhism is not to suffer. Suffering is a result of your ego being affected by situations. By becoming less attached to things, you suffer less. In less boring terms, it means stop letting external shit affect you. YOU are in control of your mind.
“Rule your mind, or it will rule you” – Horace
Recently, I was made redundant. I had about a week’s worth of strategically placed hints, which gave me enough time to wonder what the fxck was happening to my life, as it appeared to be going down the pan quick time. Now, it’s right before Christmas, my flat is due for a contract renewal; I had concluded that I’d be homeless and hungry for eternity.
I did the whole being sad thing, the crying so much you have snot bubbles worse than your three-year-old nephew’s. Drank til I couldn’t feel anything night, every night… and then something just clicked. While I’m here being dramatic as fxck, my situation isn’t changing. I’m still jobless, whether I’m sad about it or not. So why waste extra energy on a known fact when that same energy could be converted into action?
“Worrying makes you suffer twice” – JK Rowling
A whole new world emerges when you stop giving a fxck. The grey haze of anxiety and worry turns back into your regular life, without all the bullshxt. Suddenly, the things that used to bother you, don’t. You’re able to make decisions with a clearer, less emotionally charged mind. You can live your best life regardless of the circumstances because you are in control, the way it should be because you are a bad bxtch and bad bxtches give zero fxcks.
People can’t hurt you when you don’t have high expectations of them anyway. Which may sound incredibly defeatist, but it protects you right? I jest. But people will claim they love you and still fxck you over. 100 times a year. They will make you question your self-worth, shatter your confidence and break your heart. If you let them.
But if you never gave a fxck in the first place, it won’t affect you anywhere near as much, and the ball stays in your court! (Terrible advice, don’t take it).
Get used to losses. Life is full of them. It is natural for humans to have fear, it saved our ancestors from being eaten alive – but that fear is meant to end with the situation. Not linger in your mind, affecting your best life in the future. You can’t control what happens to you, but you CAN control how you react to it.
“Fear creates its own self-fulfilling dynamic—as people give in to it, they lose energy and momentum. Their lack of confidence translates into inaction that lowers confidence levels even further, on and on. “ Robert Greene – the 50th law
Spending days or weeks worrying about a situation that MAY NOT EVEN HAPPEN is a complete waste of your beautiful life honey. If you’re anything like me, you will always land on your feet.
So the next time something doesn’t quite go the way you expected – try reacting with a different mindset. Take it as a lesson learned, to change your behavior, alter your opinion or show you a new way of life.
You have your best life to live. Don’t waste it worrying, and never let anything bring you down…
This article has been written anonymously, all thoughts and opinions remain the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the sentiments of Sareta Fontaine.