This post is specifically for ‘mummy bloggers’ or newbies thinking about becoming one, sorry everyone else. Oh, and ‘daddy bloggers’, I haven’t forgotten about you, I know a lot of people leave you out so I’ll touch briefly on you guys… just briefly. *Shade purposely thrown.
Now, this isn’t some kind of ‘How To’ directional type of post, more of an observational one. I’ve been in this parenting blogmosphere for about two years now, going to bloggy events for the last year, and I’ve basically come to the conclusion that everyone just really needs to stay in their own lane. That’s pretty hard if you don’t know what your lane is.
There are the elite UK Blogger Mums. These are the ones with 50K plus Instagram followers. They seem to get all the invites and live off of what what they blog about. You’ll spot them a mile off, they usually sport a brown Bob and their attire consists of denim, and black and white stripy tops. They turn up to events, get their picture taken whilst talking to the other elites, and then leave before the event has finished. Free drinks, pics taken, leave. They only need to be there long enough to get their presence noticed and decent pictures for Instagram.
Then there are the 20k’ers (Bloggers with 20k Instagram followers). These ones are fully playing the game, they may even hold events to get the elite ones on their side. They will talk to everyone, but focus on getting snaps with the elite bunch, purely to seem like they’re in with them. It’s a bit like that Black Mirror episode when everyone rated each other, and only the highest rated ones could hang with each other (and if you haven’t watched it, you should).
Then there’s me… or the me-types: the 10k’ers. We’re not quite sure where we belong, hitting that 10k mark was the best, but because of new Instagram Algorithms people will assume we bought followers. At events we’ll talk to anyone and everyone, new types of possible connections or friends if we’re lucky. We might bump into a 40K’er not realising who they are and they’ll either be really nice in hope that you end up following them or their eyes will glaze over in hope of spotting another elite UK Mummy Blogger. This has happened so many times. Mid-convo they’ll start talking over you about themselves. I’m not sure if it’s an anxiety thing or if they really are rude enough to think that your conversation really doesn’t matter… *Eyes glaze over… spots a mummy who has 100k followers! Elite Mummy Bloggers, this makes us feel really small.
The best type of Mummy Bloggers are the ones who listen and ask you questions. They’re the ones who seem genuinely happy to be at the event and will talk to anyone. They’ll probably know of the elite and follow even if they don’t like them, purely in hope that Instagram will suggest their feeds to anyone who follows them. Yeah, I know your game, it’s cool, I do it too. These Mummy Bloggers will have a laugh, have a drink and be happy to mingle with like-minded people. These are the mummys that make me turn my Notifications on, they only talk about themselves or their blogs when asked, they’re humble, they’re chill, they’re normal. Well, normal-ish.
Ok, So I mentioned the Daddy Bloggers, but I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting any in real life! Events that I’ve been to are Mummy-specific, which is fine, but I think a little unfair. I don’t think it’s particularly hard to get a following if the dad happens to be good-looking, has cute kids and – more importantly – married or partnered with an already established Mummy Blogger. Chuck in a bit of humour and they’ll get the mummys following. I sometimes think, if these guys banded together, they could come up with something awesome, but at the moment it seems like a lot of them are looking at mummys or each other for the answers to being successful in this blogging world. The best ones, the ones who stick out for me, are the ones who don’t give a frig about numbers, games or even other people. I think they’re the ones who will make it. After all, parents, if all you have to offer are cute pictures of your kids, what are you going to do when they all grow up?
I’m guilty of looking at the big ones, the parent bloggers who have the 100k followers, even the ones who have 50K… but I’ve realised something, we all just need to stay in our own frickin lane.
Now that I’ve realised that I should indeed stay in my own lane, I need to figure out what lane that is. Yes, yes, yes, be myself and all that, but that’s incredibly difficult with out a squad. Whom do I gravitate towards? We’re all put in boxes, what box would I be put in? Google “Mummy Blogger” you will be met with a plethora of bobbed stripy topped white mums. None of which look like me. The elites are all over page one of that search. So do I aim my words at black mums? Will that alienate the bloggy friends that I have made already? After all, I love meet ups where I know I’m going to bump into them. A lot of my followers are white mums, so really, I’d be shooting myself if I did that. I’m hardly a Punky Mum, or a glam yummy mummy, or even any type of stereotypical mum, so what box would I fit in? Maybe thats a good thing? I’m not sure. Maybe the fact that I don’t fit into any of these boxes is even more reason to stay in my own lane, whilst reminding others to stay in theirs?
There are parent bloggers that love seeing others do well, and there are some that will try to imitate or wish they had done what you did. Ignore. They wont last very long and people will smell the desperation a mile off- I can always tell if people are being fake, and I think your followers can too.
So if possible, admire others, stay on your path and think about what you want to do to make your mark. And please, if I meet you and I can’t remember your name its’s not because I think highly of myself… I’ve literally got the crappest memory when it comes to names. I’m one of those people that can watch 10 seasons of a programme and refer to a character by how they act. Eg, New Girl, -Schmidt would be ‘The main guy who lives with Jess, he liked her best friend and started dating her, then they broke up but they got married or something’ That long sentence would be his name in my head. Long I know, so don’t hate me if I do it to you. Especially you ‘Mum with the cute kid who did something funny that time and everyone said how cool it was’. Yeah, You.
*Note, if i’m come across even lightly bitchy I apologise. Also, if you are in fact an elite and found yourself reading this whist placing your bobbed hair behind your ears and adjusting your stripy top, again, apologies…I’m only apologising if you are in fact one of the nice ones.
This is jokes – LOL @ the stripy top mums!! and yes you’re right.. just be yourself! The more you specialise the more you block out opportunities and networks.. and you’re lovely just the way you are anyway!
Haha, cheers ?
SA-RE-TA! It sounds like mean girls or a USA high school programme! SAD thing is it’s real! I wish people would connect with who they like *but* it’s tricky everyone wants to grow… well those of us that want to that is! I might buy a bob wig…
I couldn’t have said this better myself! What a great post. I am afraid that Elitism existing in the new blogging lanes too esp those who are fighting to get to the top. You can smell those bloggers a mile off. I think if you can have fun with it then the invites & the freebies are just a bonus! Or at least that’s how I see it.
Crap ok, note 1 – ditch fun hair and make it blah,
Note 2, head to GAP and invest in shares…
I totally see where you’re coming from – it’s the literal TRUTH. In the beauty side (oh my god I could ramble about the SAMEYS) but staying in own lane? Hmm yeah *nodding head*
Baby, you better make sure it’s in a bright pink car with a foghorn attached to it (don’t think Katie price. Don’t lol) but seriously. You being you is AWESOME. Generics don’t usually have humour, come on now is Gwyneth funny? Pah.
SLAY baby, and we’ll sashay and Shante with you ????
P.s. You rock x
P.p.s I’ve only watched two episodes of black mirror and the one you mentioned was one of them LOL
YES, YES, YES! Brilliant xxxx
Aw man, I’ve got a brown bob and I love a striped top too! Lol. Anyway this is such a good post. You so hit the nail on the head…. you have to not give a shit with the whole thing and just enjoy it. I love doing insta and writing my blog but I don’t think you can smell me as I don’t even have 1k followers! Don’t get me wrong there’s been times where I’ve thought I need to try harder or be different. But i just can’t. I don’t know how. Spot on lady x
Thank God for people like you !! Thank god that not all mummy bloggers live in the cocoon safety bubble of instagram pretending to be all lovely and approachable yet ignore every question on their feed that isn’t from another elite blogger. Instagram or blogging does not warrant celebrity status nor does it warrant the ego that can come with that and people should remember that every single like, comment and follow counts. It could all be gone tomorrow along with their free dyson goodies, free holidays and fake friends. Real life should be unfiltered and I don’t mean instagram unfiltered I mean reality ! Thank you for this post it’s wonderfully honest xx
Hi! This is my first time stopping by your blog and I love this post! I have not been to a blog event yet and have been at it for 2 and a half years. I would feel really intimidated by all the bloggers with the massive followings but I would love to have a chat with all the fun new bloggers xx #blogcrush
Thank you for being so good ! I needed to read this today and putt anxiety at ease xxx
Don’t let it stress you out mama x Literally take a breather and think about why you starting this all off in the first place. There’s plenty of us that are in the same boat x
This was such a great read. Especially for a newbie like me. It’s very important to stay in your own lane and be genuine x
I do have a brown bob, own the odd striped sweater, the only thing I’m missing is the 50k followers (only 58.5 to go!). I’ve been blogging for years (5 to be precise) and actually couldn’t care less how many Instagram followers I have. I am fully aware that I’m not cool (I have teenagers) and that my pictures are pretty crap. Still trying to find my ‘lane’ though. I’ll let you know when I’ve found it!
HAHA, well at least you have the mummy blogger uniform! I jest, I love the fact the “mummy blogger” scene is so diverse, I just wish google knew that! If you’ve been doing this for 5 years, you must be doing something right, and even if your really pics aren’t that great (I think they’re good!)- I assume that you’re enjoying what you’re doing? I had a nosy and your blog is beautiful- loving what you’re doing. You’re already in your lane and slaying whilst you’re at it x
Oh, and PS- Can totally relate to your “Create your very own Hotel Room” I’m doing that with my spare room atm… so much so that I feel like it needs to be converted into a nice little work space for me. It’s my fav room 😀